Anger...OH BOY!

No school! Yay! No school! I can sleep in.  But wait.  UGH! No SCHOOL. That means no routine. Oh well.  I decide to sleep some more anyway.  At least sleeping in is a plus! 

I roll out of bed after 8.  I go upstairs and immediately am assaulted by kids who refuse to listen.  Arguing.  Rationalizing.  Heated discussion. 

Alex gets grounded. Sigh. GREAT start to my day!

A little while later. I get a phone call from the drama club instructor concerning Alex.  Great. Time for a discussion.  I finish cooking my eggs before going downstairs to talk with him.  I make sure I’m calm because I’ve learned that being upset when I have a discussion with anyone is not productive.

He ends up in tears. Being a teenager is rough.  And being a teenager with ADHD is even rougher.  He begs me…pleads with me to give him “anger management”. 

So, I start searching online. And I find a site that almostperfectly matches the things that I have said and always say to my kids when they are angry. 

We sit and read the site and talk about it.  He is forcing himself to be so calm he almost robot like.  He’s afraid to show any emotions at all.  He’s afraid of allowing himself to lose control again.  

Rain, rain, go away!!!

I love snow.  It’s pretty, bright white blankets of fluff covering the ground, deck, rocks and evergreen trees.  I could sit and look at it all day long. Sigh…

And then it starts to rain.  NO! Not rain! Aw man!  I DO NOT like ice.  A thick hard sheet of slippery fun covers the yard, driveway and deck. 

I don’t think much of it.  I’m taking some of my kids to play board games with their Great Gramma.  We load into my sister’s Jeep and I put it into 4 wheel drive.  Nothing is sanded yet.  I’m thinking it’ll be just fine since my car can drive on it, right? WRONG!

Almost as soon as I start down the driveway the Jeep starts to slide.  I tap on the brakes to see if it’s going to help at all.  Um NO! Nope! I take my foot off the brake. Now I’m sliding sideways….down the drive way. 

Alyssa is freaking out, just a bit.  She scares so easily.  Colin says, “Um Mom?” Like he wonders if I realize that we’re sliding.  Haha! Yeah…

We stop at the bottom of the driveway; thankfully.  I decide to be brave and try to keep going.  I get the Jeep going in the right direction and start slowly driving.  I’m sliding all over the icy road.  Yep.  I’m not going anywhere.  I pull over and stop to let Gramma know that we won’t be able to make it this time. 

I very carefully and slowly start turning the Jeep around.  Back up. Stop.  Pull forward. Stop.  Inch by inch I turn around and drive back up into the driveway; keeping the left tires in the snow on the side of the road as I go.  The Jeep slides as I turn it into its parking spot and then comes to a stop.  Sigh.  Well THAT was fun! 

We all get to spend some time sanding!  I think this is the ONLY part of winter I don’t enjoy.  Haha! ICE!

Even a week after that ice came, it still covered the driveway.  Some small patches had melted.  Bring me snow…ANY DAY…instead of ice!

Interruptions

I sit down to write. I open my computer. The computer is turning on. I open up MS Word.  The girls start arguing. Someone said something unkind.  One sister won’t let the other sister play with her. Someone wants to be by herself.  Sigh. Having an introverted child...can be interesting. She comes by it naturally though…

I go into the living room and sit in between the girls.  I try to talk to them about playing together.  I talk to them about sharing. I talk to them about being nice to each other.

I have had this same discussion with them so many times I’ve lost count.  Cassie would rather play by herself.  Cassie would rather not have anyone telling her what to do.  Cassie wants to pick ALL the shows she watches. Cassie wants to play with ALL the toys. Cassie likes her alone time; and a lot of it. Oh Boy!

Great! I wonder how she will be as an adult. 

Somehow I convince Cassie to watch a show with Alyssa.  Finally.

I sit back down at the computer and begin to write.  I’ve written a whole 2 sentences and I see Alyssa walking across the furniture. REALLY!!!  “Alyssa! Sit down! No walking on the furniture.” She promptly sits. 

I type a few more lines and I catch a glimpse of Cassie in the living room.  Nice!  “Cassie! Sit down! Do not stand on the furniture!”

Then I realize I can’t see Alyssa anymore.  I LOVE my children! 

“Alyssa, you better be sitting on the couch.”

I type some more.  Alyssa appears in the doorway.  “Mom, I was only doing it because Cassie was doing it!” 

SERIOUSLY?? My 16 year old uses the SAME excuse!

“So does that make it right?”

“No.”

“Then DON’T walk on the furniture.”

Back to typing. OH MY GOSH. I wonder how I ever get anything done at all. It truly is a MIRACLE that anything gets completed. The amount of time it takes to get any one task accomplished can double or triple in time depending on how the kids are behaving on a given day.  It’s FAN-FREAKING-TASTIC!

I go back to my typing. Todd wakes up from his nap.  I pause for a moment to talk to him.  Then I go back to my task. 

“Hey Mom!” Todd calls to me.  “What?” I ask, feeling a little annoyed at the continued distractions; now from an adult too.

“Come look at us!” He says. 

I may have let out a sigh...just maybe.  I get up and this is what I find. 

Hahaha! If you can’t beat ‘em…join ‘em!

Squat challenge

A couple of weeks ago…

Oh my gosh! I’m SO sore today. Yep. I’m feeling it.  Feeling it all! My glutes…quads…. Um wait.  There HAVE to be more muscles in there.  Holy cow. 

A friend is doing a squat challenge over the next three months.  10,000 squats in three months. 112 per day. Or if you don’t do them on Sundays it would be 129 per day. THAT’s a lot of squats!

I’m already sore from my workout the day before.  I did some squats, lunges and some lunge jumps. Yep!  I hurt. 

So, I choose a workout that is different from the day before.  There won’t be any squats in it, right?  WRONG!  I don’t even know how many I did during the workout.  It was burning so badly I didn’t bother to count.  I was gritting my teeth to make it through the entire 60 second interval.  YIKES!

Once I do my cool down I decide to see just how many squats I can do…just to see. I know. I’m crazy.  But I love to challenge myself.

120. Yep.  I did them all. And now I’m SO SORE.  But I think I’m going to try more tomorrow.  

The good things in life

I wrap my arms around Cassie and rub my nose on her soft little cheek.  At least 50-75% of the time she won’t allow me to hug her.  She’ll bat me away or squirm and get mad at me. But this time she lets me.  She’s in the right mood. 

“Why are you so cute?” I ask.

Her reply makes me giggle. “I’m NOT so cute!” she says emphatically. A grin spreads across my face.  She hasn’t figured out that “cute” is a good thing.  Quickly I come up with a reply.

“Then, why are you so Cassie?” I ask with a smirk on my face. She identifies with this question.

In her adorable little girl voice she quickly and softly replies, “Because Heavenly Father made me so Cassie.”

Moments like these make all the CRAP in the world worthwhile. 

Taken almost a year ago but still so cute!

It's a FAKE day off!!

It’s Thursday and the kids are off from school today. Parent teacher conferences. It’s a “day off”, but not really.

I’m constantly reminding them to do what they need to do.  Redirect. Redirect. Redirect. Sigh. 

Put away your clothes.

Put the dishes away.

Go take your meds.

Did you eat breakfast?

Finish your chores.

No, you may not have video game time until you finish your chores.

Do your homework.

Focus. Get your work done.

Clean your room. 

Who’s socks are these?

The “not me” ghost is FIRED!

Who put a hole in this chair?

Well, SOMEONE did it.

Pick up those blankets and pillows.

Put the toys away…where they go.

Turn off the light when you’re not in your room.

What are you DOING? Finish your job.

And on…and on…and on. It’s exhausting.  And makes me hate days off from school.  I SHOULD be enjoying my time with my children. We should be having fun. If they would just GET UP and do what needs to be done they would be left with the majority of the day to do whatever their hearts desired.  But THAT would be too easy.

Eventually everything is complete.  Eventually I can relax…at like 7pm. And then I eat a brownie.  Aaagh!  I was trying to be good, but that motivation is gone at the moment.

8pm is bedtime. And it takes forever to get them to bed.  9:15 I turn out the lights with a little girl trying to fall asleep next to me. Sigh! Sleep...

4:55am my alarm goes off.  I’m SO thankful for school today! 

I’m not exaggerating…not even a little bit. 

Hidden gluten

We sat and stared, wide eyed, as Cassie screamed and pushed and shoved Alyssa.  She was practically attacking Alyssa…over a toy that she wanted.  I glanced at Juli again, shaking my head.  What the HECK!

I tried getting Cassie’s attention, tried pulling her away with my words, but she wasn’t hearing anything I was saying.  Nothing was getting through. I went to her and picked her flailing, thrashing body up and carried her back to my seat and tried to sit.  She refused to be consoled.

She continued to scream.  She wiggled free from my grip and immediately started toward Alyssa again.  She REALLY wanted that silly toy!  In her mind she was entitled to it. 

I pulled her away again and AGAIN tried to sit and hold her.  Nope. Not happening.  “She hasn’t done this in a long time,” I said to Juli. “This is what she used to do…ALL THE TIME…before we changed her diet.”

“Oh my gosh!  Seriously? She hasn’t done this AT ALL since you got here,” was Juli’s reply.  We’ve been here for 6 months now. 

I know.  I’m usually so cautious.  So careful.  So protective of what she eats.  I let my guard down a little today.  BAD idea! 

We had lunch at my parent’s house and my dad fixed his venison stew.  It was awesome!  So yummy! And I forgot all about the spices.  In know better. 

You see…gluten hides in all kinds of fun places.  It’s a sneaky little booger. But really it’s the manufacturers who sneak it in there. GRRR!!  It’s SO wonderful! And SO sweet of them! When you’re not sensitive to it, you’d never even know it was there.  Well believe me…it’s THERE!

I stuck my leg out to prevent Cassie from reaching her sister…forcing her to stay near me.  She was mad; really mad.  Sensitivity induced mad.  It’s such a FUN thing to experience…NOT!

This all happened on Sunday afternoon.  She eventually calmed down and stopped attacking her sister.

It’s Monday and Cassie is tired…sleepy…no energy. All day she lays around. She climbs onto my lap, her thumb stuck in her mouth. Her fingers search until they find the edge of my t-shirt and they begin to rub back and forth. Soothing. Comforting.  She’s uncomfortable.  She doesn’t feel well. Her skin is pale. I touch her forehead. She’s not hot…thank goodness.

She climbs off my lap…uncomfortable.  She lays her head on the pillow on the couch.

“Are you feeling yucky?” I ask.

“No, I’m fine.”

She begins to make the noises…like she’s going to be sick.  Ah crap! I scoop her up and run for the kitchen. I flick on the light, or try to, but my fingers can’t find the switch very quickly.  Seriously?! I hate when that happens.  The light comes on and I run to the cabinet for a bowl.  Two are stuck together.  I’m trying to pry them apart, and hoping that she won’t be sick on me while I’m doing it. Cause THAT would be AWESOME! And it’s happened before. I start to call for Juli to help and they magically slip apart. Geesh!

I stand there holding my 4 year old baby in my arms with a bowl in front of her face. After a minute or two she says, “I don’t need it anymore. I’m not gonna ‘flow up’”. I swear she SHOVED that feeling right back down. But she seems okay…for now.

All evening we carry the bowl around wherever she goes…just in case. 

Tuesday morning I wake up and realize that she didn’t get sick!  Halle-Freaking-Lujah!  It’s a MIRACLE!

She still isn’t feeling well…just not quite right…and she has ZERO appetite. 

It’s Wednesday and I’ve been busy cleaning and getting things done.  I know the girls woke up because I saw them come upstairs for a brief moment earlier.  I peek into their room to see what they’re up to.  Ah. I see. They’re curled up in the “fort” (a blanket tucked under the top bunk mattress to cover the bottom bunk) watching a show on my kindle.

By the time I finish my workout Cassie has moved out to the loveseat in the family room. She’s so pale and so exhausted. I ask her what she’d like for breakfast.  Macaroni and cheese sounds good to her.  Of COURSE it does!  I make her some gluten free mac and cheese, because I’ll give her just about anything she wants to eat right now. I call to her from the top of the stairs. She replies quietly.  So quietly that I have to go down to ask what she said.  “You carry me up the stairs,” she asks.  She’s a wee bit pathetic.  Poor thing!

I scoop her up and carry her to the dining room table where I sit and help her eat.  She has no energy. I’m really concerned.  If she doesn’t feel better by the end of the day I’ll be calling the doctor’s office. 

I help her get some water and spoon feed her some mac and cheese.  She doesn’t eat a lot, but she is able to keep some food down.  That’s a plus. 

Late afternoon she perks up.  She’s feeling better. She plays happily with her sister.  Sigh.  Yep! Three days.  THREE DAYS!! That’s what it takes for the offending foods to leave her little body. I really hate gluten, dyes and artificial preservatives.  They make life so darned interesting!